Eastern Promises (2007)

This Movie Is About finding a better life and what you would do to get it. This story follows the aftermath of a young Ukrainian girl who came to London in search of a better life for her and her unborn child. Well the problem is that she died giving birth to her kid. Along with her kid, she left her diary which outlines her very grim life. All of this is passed on to the nurse who delivered her daugther, Anna (Naomi Watss). When Anna brings this diary to an old Russian friend, Semyon, she gets caught up in something much more grim and life threatening. Now, she's on the run from the Russian mob, and the only person that can save her is the person sent to kill her.

You Should Watch This Movie because it is the best movie out there right now. I can say this with confidence because this film has so many interesting elements that are tied together to create a very compelling story which on the surface might seem plot driven, but deep down inside, it is very much a character study. Viggo Mortensen once again dazzles us with his slight of hand acting as well as pulling off an impressive Russian accent. It deals with real issues such as moving on to a fresh start and the difference and similarities between life and death. Brilliant stuff.

What's Hot: We know that Viggo is great and he's super great in the end when he's naked. Alright, I know what you're thinking. That you didn't pay 10 bucks to go see a guy tea bag some other guy. But believe me, the fight in the end, it can only be in the nude. Anyways! Vincent Cassel has really made a name for himself in this film. He was pretty good in Derailed but he was secondary. Although, he is not quite the main character in this film either, and his performance might be overlooked by Viggo, he really gave the film that extra layer, that anti-thesis to the theme and everything you hate about society. He embodied it and he was proud of it which just made him a character you love to hate. And he played it with passion and really got into it. Brilliant.

What's Not Hot: It's hard to complain about a film so well done, but what separates this film from something that's an instant classic is the over-looking of some subplots. There are a number of issues that weren't dealt with that were set up in the beginning. But because the main plot was so strong, audiences might have over-looked these small errors. I know I did when I first watched it. You're so overwhelmed that you forget about those small issues. it's not a big deal and having to deal with those issues would have only dragged the story on. I don't believe they could have done the ending any more justice by making it longer. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this film is good, maybe great, but the doubt will always be there questioning if it could have been better.

Breaking It Down:
Story: 8.0 (Steven Knight)
Direction: 8.5 (David Cronenberg)
Acting: 8.8
Cinematography: 7.8
Music/Sound: 7.5

Entertainment Value: 8.5 (not an average)

Mr. Brooks (2007)

This Movie Is About a man named Mr. Brooks (Kevin Costner) and no, he doesn't have gills. Okay, so Mr. Brooks is a lovely man with a lovely family and he even volunteers to clean up at the AA meetings. What is he at AA for. you might ask. Well, you see, Mr. Brooks sufferes from what we call an addiction to killing people and posing them in compromising positions after he shoots them and then takes pictures of them. And just for good measure, he puts their finger prints, in blood, around the room. This might seem like a problem for any family man to face, but Mr. Brooks is very smart. He does run a boxing company after all. Which is a company that makes boxes, if you were confused. So after one of this rauncy murder escapades, he gets a visit from Mr. Smith (Dane Cook) who has photographs of Mr. Brooks after he offed the couple. He doesn't want to turn him in though, no no no, he wants Mr. Brooks to take him on the next killing for the thrill, you see. The stereotypicaly detective is played by Demi Moore as Detective Atwood. So the stage is set and there if no one you can trust, not even your own family.

You Should Watch This Movie Becausethere is nothing wrong with it. Now, many of you would disagree and I will be probably getting a lot of hate mail for saying something like this. But let me explain. When I say that there is nothing wrong with this film means that there are no glaring plot holes or things that don't make sense. Having said that, this film is so focused on not making any mistakes that it really doesn't go anywhere or do anything. But a positive is a positive. At least, if you watch this movie, you won't be pulling your hair out because of the story.

What's Hot: It was a decent attempt to try to bring together story lines that didn't really fit together. They did try though. And trying is always worth noting. You can probably tell that I'm struggling for positives because I am. There just really wasn't that many positives in this film. I mean, it doesn't do anything spectacular but at the same time it doesn't do anything at all! So I guess what's hot is the knowledge that movies with no substance can still be made which is a positive for any aspiring screen writer.

What's Not Hot: Pretty much everything else in this movie. One example, if you guys need it. Is Atwood's story line. She's investigating this case, yeah? So you think that she would investigate this case and it would bring about some change in her personal life or whatever. But they decided to do something slightly different and bring back a dude from her old case who's out to get her. Which has nothing to do with the case that she's solving right now, by the way. I don't understand how this decision could have gotten through the story editors but it somehow did which makes me feel sad and yet thankful because I will strive to be a better story editor than this.

Breaking It Down:
Story: Fail
Direction:6.0 (Bruce A. Evans)
Acting: 7.0
Cinematography: 7.0
Music/Sound: 6.0

Entertainment Value: Fail (not an average)

미녀는 괴로워 (200 Pound Beauty) (Kor.)

This Movie Is About Kang Ha Na ( Kim Ahn Jung) who is the perfect girl. She's nice, she's a great singer, and very open to sex becaus she moonlights as a sex chat operator over the phone. The only problem is that she's super fat. Fine, I guess if you want to be completely politically correct, she's overweight. I'm not judging or anything but in society, if you're that over-weight, you're gonna have a hard time finding some person who loves you, or at least, openly loves you. It's a hard life made harder when all Ha Na wants to do is be a singer which she's really good at! As a result, she lip syncs for another pop star who's not very good at singing. So one day, Ha Na gets fed by because the man she loves, who's the producer, Sang Jun (Ju Jin Mo), tells the pop star that they are just using Ha Na. Well, like any woman with that much on her mind, she snaps and decides to get full body plastic surgery. She comes out looking smokin' hot and ends up becoming a pop star with the producer that she loves. The producer eventually falls in love with her but how real is it? The answer is obvioiusly: not very. Which, ironically, is the answer when asking how real the rest of the movie is.

You Should Watch This Movie because this is the all-time feel good movie, ever. If you're down on your day and you feel that no one understands you and that life is just one big suck-ass, then you should pop in this flick and let it do its magic. Hell, you can turn off the subtitles and you'll get it. Sure, it might seem like this film is cliche city and that there is nothing surprising. Which is true. But at the same time, it uses all the elements very well and creates a strong productt that makes you laugh and cry and feel good, and in the end gives you a reliable film other than a predictable one.

What's Hot: If you can't tell already, Kim Ahn Jung is very much the dream in this film. Not only is she physically very attractive, her personality and character is any guy's dream. Okay, so now that every body knows I'm not gay, I will talk about the story a bit. The movie revolves around the music world and it uses pop culture and whatever. That means, there are concerts and music which is all pretty good. On top of that, they add in clever writing tricks like setting up items or little ticks that comes back later on to reveal slowly to our male love interest that the girl he loves is indeed the same girl that he loved subconsciously before. Writing like this really makes a mediocre storyline that much more satisfying in retrospect and helps separate it from the other sugar-saturated garbage that passes for a movie these days.

What's Not Hot: The fact that every guy in this movie falls over backwards for this chick. I know, she's really hot, but seriously, the guys in this movie need to grow a pair or lose a pair in order to gain some respectablility. The only person in this film that actually isn't so dramatic and stupid is Sang Jun which is good since he's such a big character but even he's guilty of being overly dramatic at times. But I guess this is an Asian film and that will always be expected. And there will always be stupid logic questions that can destroy any film like why does she need to be at the concert to lip sync of the other pop star? Can't they just record it? Small things irk some people and if you can't sit through those and just watch the good parts, then this movie might be a challenge to get through.

Breaking It Down:
Story: 7.0 (Kim Yong Hwa & No Hye Yeong)
Direction: 7.2 (Kim Yong Hwa)
Acting: 6.0
Cinematography: 7.5
Music/Sound: 8.0

Entertainment Value: 6.8 (not an average)

Perfect Stranger (2007)

This Film Is About a hot shot reporter named Rowena Price (Halle Berry). She's the best when it comes to finding the big story and breaking it wide open, usually at the expense of someone else's career. She loves digging up people's past and throwing it in their face, well after she throws it on the front page that is. The story begins when her and her tech teammate, Miles (Giovani Ribisi) loses a big story because their witness pulled out of his testimony. They need a new story and fast. Well they're in luck because an old friend comes knocking and gives Rowena the story of a life time, but not before she's murdered by the person that she was about to expose. Oh, by the way, this guy's played by Bruce Willis. His name isn't important like the rest of this movie.

You Should Watch this Because if you're really bored and having nothing better to do than watch Halle Berry make out with some random guy, no she doesn't make out with Bruce Willis. Okay, okay, you might think I'm just giving this movie a bad time and it's not really fair. Well, it's not fair how they enticed me with such an interesting story line and just didn't do anything else with it. Does that sound fair? Definitely not.

What's Hot: Halle Berry is always hot and there really isn't no way to get around that. But seriously, I think her hotness is going to her head. If she thinks she can go around wearing nothing and expect it to save the film then she has another thing coming. Sure I love watching her walk around in a dress that's way too tight, who doesn't? But the point is, she is the only thing that's hot in this movie. They needed to put Bruce Willis on an asteroid if they wanted to salvage this mess.

What's Not Hot: The rest of the movie is seriously lacking any sort of unique twist. Oh, don't get me wrong, there is a twist in the end but it's sooo clear what it is about a third into the film that it just becomes painful to watch after like 20 minutes. This is one of those detective movies where all we see is detecting. It might sound like I'm being a real bitch and a hater but seriously, any thriller movie that moves this slow deserves to get shot.

Breaking It Down:
Story: Fail
Direction: 6.0 (James Foley)
Acting: 5.8
Cinematography: 6.0
Music/Sound: Fail

Entertainment Value: Fail

Broken English (2007)

This Movie Is About a woman who's successful, charismatic, beautiful and horrible with the opposite sex and getting what she wants in life. Nora Wilder (Parker Posey) is always attracted to the wrong type of guys. Well, she's always attracted to the types of guys that are only attracted to her for one thing. She gets hurt, goes on a no-men phase then does it all over again. She's been doing it for the better part of her adult life and things seem to be the same when she meets Julien (Melvil Poupaud). They meet, have a great time, then he goes back to France leaving her forever. But oh no, our girl isn't taking this shit sitting down anymore. She knows that Julian is the one for her and she's not going to let opportunity slip by unchallenged again! In a whimp, she flies off to France in search of her mystery man but finds so much more!

You Should Watch This Because Parker Posey is one of those actresses who don't get a lot of credit for doing a lot of hard work. You might recognize her when you first see her but you won't be able to put a finger on what you've seen her in! Not until you check our good friends at IMDB, of course. Then you will remmeber that she was the lead vampire in Blade: Trinity as well as many other supporting roles! She has pretty much done it all except play a lead. Well, she's finally gotten her shot and she does not disappoint. If only her performance can salvage the rest of the film, then we woulda had a real winner!

What's Hot is how simple the story is and how well it works. It's a character study that doesn't seem to be going anywhere at times, but the pace, although very slow does well in drawing you into the story by providing organic situations and natural characters which the majority of the audience can relate to because they are dealing with real life situations and problems!

What's Not Hot is the over acting by everyone else! I don't get it... It seems that all these actors had to do was think about how they would react in this situation and do it! Okay, Okay, I'm making it sound much easier than it really is and I'm not knocking the acting biz. But some of the acting in this film outside of Parker Posey is just poor and often times hair pulling. The story is overall good and simple but there are times when it doesn't really know what's going on. It presents all these conflicts that i don't think resolves in the end, which I guess could be the theme that not all problems in life can be solved but if it is, then it was very confusing and not very well thought out.

Breaking It Down:
Story: 6.8 (Zoe R. Cassavetes)
Direction: 6.5 (Zoe R. Cassavetes)
Acting: 7.2
Cinematography: 6.0
Music/Sound: F

Entertainment Value: 6.2 (Not an Average)