Planet Terror (2007)

This Movie Is About: a science experiment gone wrong and the city is infected with the aftermath. A green smoke thing leaked into the air and has infected everyone in this town including the army. Now it's up to a group of people who are immune to band together and stop these super zombies and try to escape the city and find a safe haven. It sounds pretty simple until you get into the group of characters and it seems like everyone hates everyone else which makes it that much more interesting as opposition comes from all angles and the solution often results in massive amounts of blood and gore which is all fine and dandy and pretty much expected from a place called Planet Terror.

You Should Watch This Movie Because: it has a bunch of monsters, castration, monsters, tits, monsters, blood, blood, blood, gore, gore, gore, blood, more tits, explosion, explosion, blood, tits, monsters, blood, blood, explosion... happy ending. Now, if that doesn't make you want to watch this movie then please go to imdb.com and look at the cast. Everyone in this movie is freakin' hot for no reason. Hell, most of this movie has no reason but it's somehow awesome. You just have to throw out story, logic, ethics before you load'er up and you'll enjoy the ride.

What's Hot: Other than all the girls in this movie. Which by the way are ridiculous. Because I swear to God, all Robert Rodriguez did was go to his casting director and told him or her to get him the hottest girls they can find who are willing to be naked and/or sexually exploited on film. And man did he ever find a whole bunch. Other than Rose McGowan, there are plenty of fine botty to go around for your taste. I mean, other than that the zombies are kind of like water ballons. That is, whenever they are shot or pretty much just touched, they explode in a glory of blood and guts. It was pretty cool if you can believe that the body reacts this way in this place. The visuals are great as well since this is supposed to emulate an old school Grindhouse film. It has all the makings of a classic action/gore film.

What's Not Hot: Everything I say here will probably just be countered with "well it's that type of movie." Which is very true. Every shitty dialogue or contrived story line is apart of the experience and because it was marketed and made like that, they can get away with a whole bunch of shit. But I know there will be some of you out there that won't be able to accept that. Okay, so those of you sour-pusses might find the dialogue just brutal, or the logic of pretty much everything that happens in this movie. What else? Well, if you don't like excessive gore, or lesbian sex, then maybe this isn't for you either. Just think of the worse thing in the Catholic bible and it's in there. If you're Catholic you probably don't want to see this movie.

Breaking It Down:
Story: 5.0 (Robert Rodriguez)
Direction: 8.8 (Robert Rodriguez)
Acting: 7.5
Cinematograpy: 9.0
Music/Sound: 5.5

Entertainment Value: 7.2 (not an average)

Gone Baby Gone (2007)

This Movie Is About: Patrick Kenzie (Casey Affleck) who's a private missing persons investigator given the chance of a life time when a state wide missing girl case gets thrown in his lap. Patrick, along with his girl friend, Angie Genarro (Michelle Monghan) has to use their knowledge of the Boston area and people to shed some light on a very bleak situation. But as they dig deeper and deeper into the truth and the reality of what happened to Amanda is revealed, Patrick realizes that thet truth does not lie between the crevice of wrong and right and sometimes doing the 'right' thing can be the worse decision you can make in your life.

You Should Watch This Movie Because: Ben Affleck directed it. But no seriously, he actually does a pretty good job in his directorial debute. But other than his brilliance, the film itself is definitely worth watching. It has many great layers on top of each other and it's a film that's definitely worth watching many times over. Just on the surface, the story is hella interesting. It's a kidnapping film which hasn't been very popular the last couple of years. Or I at least do not remember a great kidnapping movie for quite some time. The twists and turns come fast and furious as Patrick is put through the grinder as he continues to get deeper and deeper into the conspiracy of Amanda's disappearance.

What's Hot: The characters are full of life in this movie. Whether you follow our hero Patrick or the crusty Detective Remy Bressant (Ed Harris), you will be taken on an emotional roller coaster and squeezed for every last once of feeling. Patrick is definitely a very dynamic character but it's interesting how all the supporting characters each have their interpretation on Amanda's kidnapping and how they all justify their actions. In the end, everyone's motives make sense and come together as one theme. But it's the different sides that they take as I'm sure the audience will pick different sides as well. That's the essence of this film. Choice is something that we all are faced with but what happens when our choices affect the lives of others? What right do we have to make that choice and how do we live with ourselves if we make the wrong ones? That is the pivotal quesiton that this film presents. Everyone around Patrick has made their choice and it's time for Patrick to make his and his journey to his final decision is something quite special and well put together for a mystery-crime film and adds plenty of depth to a pretty standard storyline. Oh, and Ed Harris deserves an Oscar.

What's Not Hot: Michelle Monghan is very disappointing as the hot chick this movie. Not that it's a big deal but I think it was something to do with her eye brows. Okay, so that's out of the way. The plot twists and everything work well on a whole and of course they're air tight. I'm sure Affleck got plenty of help from story editors and script doctors to make this thing tighter than Donald Trump's prenuptual agreement. The problem I find with these twists is that they come too fast and all at the same time. As a result, it's told to us pretty good, and with a lot of flashbacks to make sure that we get it. Patrick does quite the job as a detective so it doesn't feel like manipulation but everything just happened so fast that the audience might get lost in the process. But the end result is easy enough to understand and I'm sure that most people won't even remember the twists when they walk out of the theatre. Other than that, there was a sequence in the middle involving another kid that I didn't feel was necessary. I thought that it really dragged the story down. Oh, and there wasn't enough Morgan Freeman. He has a couple of monologues but nothing serious. I guess he just wanted a easy ride this time around.

Break It Down:
Story: 8.5 (Dennis Lehane: novel, Ben Affleck & Aaron Stockard: screenplay)
Direction: 8.0 (Ben Affleck)
Acting: 9.2
Cinematography: 7.8
Music/Sound: 6.8

Entertainment Value: 8.5 (not an average)

30 Days of Night (2007)

This Movie Is About the small town in the northern-most region of Alaska. Here, for 30 days in a year, it is cut off from civilization as it bears the harsh snow storms and the perpetual darkness. But what's more dark than just darkness? Darkness with vampires! That's the brilliant concept of this movie as this small town is razed by a group of vampires hell-bent on destroying all forms of life in order to prove that they are more than just myth. The surviving group of people left must hide out for 30 days of night before the sun can come up and the vampires go away. It's a race against evil, time, nature, and themselves.

You Should Watch This Movie Because: there really hasn't been a good horror flick in a while and a monster horror flick at that. These vampires are badass, and they tear apart in the town in no-time leaving the survivors led by Eden Oleson (Josh Harnett) on the verge of extinction. Every sound, every movement these people make may result in death. This makes the entire movie very very tense and fear is right around the every corner these guys take. And oh the blood! If you are a fan of blood on shirt, then you will like this movie for sure. There is indeed a lot of blood on shirt, pants, jacket, mouth, teeth and in the general vicinity of everywhere. Other than the fear, the lead character is very standard but also very deep. His other dimensions comes off his relationship with past love interest Stella (Melissa George). They were together in the past and although you never really find out why they separated, their sub-plot raises some interesting questions and adds more conflict to the story than just vampires.

What's Hot: The vampires are very well done and definitely very distinct in their appearance. The fangs are intense as are the finger nails. The pupils are all the way black and fills up most of the eyes. And they are hardcore. There is a scene which shows a overhead shot of what's going on in the city when the vampires are owning and oh, it is so grim but so beautiful at the same time. But let's not forget about the humans. They pretty much take the vampires' shit for a good half of the movie but in the end, they realize that they have to get mad, they have to get angry. And oh, man do they ever get angry. There are a couple of scenes where some guy just loses it and goes off on a suicide mission and owns a couple of vampires before getting done. Other than that, there is some constant axe ownage which is very well done and very graphic.

What's Not Hot: There are plenty of stories in this movie and it all adds to the immense depth and message in this film. The problem with that in a horror film is that it's easy to get lost in the story lines while trying to keep the main story going and make it scary and make it interesting without losing the audience. This movie kind of fell trap to that as it tried to put a little too much story into the action. The backstory with Eben and Stella never really gets flushed out in the end as well as the history of the vampires and what happens to them in the end. The ending is also an area that could have used a lot more work. They set up the climax brilliantly and it is one of the best I have seen in a long time, but they just didn't pay it off properly. I have not read the graphic novel but I am almost sure that it ends much darker and grim than the movie. Perhaps they were pressured by the Hollywood brass for a happy ending but it will be disappointing for the hardcores.

Breaking It Down:
Story: 7.0 (Steve Niles & Ben Templesmith: grahpic novel, Stuart Beattie & Brian Nelson: screenplay)
Directon: 8.5 (David Slade)
Acting: 7.8
Cinematography: 8.5
Music/Sound: 7.5

Entertainment Value: 8.2

色, 戒 (Lust, Caution) (2007)

This Movie Is About a young woman, Wang Jia Zhi (Tang Wei) whose family left her when the war started. As a result, she's all alone in occupied China. She's lucky enough to flee to Hong Kong where she meets her friends and her new family, lead by Kuang Yu Min (Wang Lee Hom). After Jia Zhi stars in a play, Yu Min gets the idea to use her to assassinate a politician, Mr. Yee (Tony Leung) who's collaborating with the Japanese in order to difference. She plays the role of a lonely wife, Mrs. Mak, in order to try to seduce Mr. Yee. So the game begins as the college group realizes that they are in much deeper than they had expected especially for the new Mrs. Mak who has to control her lust and be cautious especially when love and country are involved.

You Should Watch This Movie if you are into Asian pornography. Okay, just kidding. Other than the very vivid sex scenes, this movie has a great story and acting to go along with very deep characters. And when I say deep I mean, there's enough subtext in here to fill a quarry. The roller coster ride of emotion and plot twists are enough to keep your mind spinning and nothing is what it really appears. We're on the trip with Jia Zhi as she pretends to fall in love but only to find love in the most dangerous place and deciding if it's really worth it.

What's Hot: The sex scenes are off the wall. They are insane to do this in Asia and it's clear because this movie's is banned from China. But other than that, the characters themselves are a treat to watch come to life as they deal with their internal struggles. Country or love, that's the quesiton that every character asks themselves. The sides are clearly drawn and it's up to one girl to make her difference and shift the tides of balance of the war. Wang Lee Hom makes his acting debut as he plays the default love interest. But his character is also interesting as he's not what he appears. He's pretty good looking, of course. For the ladies, this film is a treat to watch.


What's Not Hot: What theme and what this story is about is a bit messy. Or it's a lot messy. You don't really know what it's about. This isn't a big deal. It's only a big deal for writers like me who are always looking for that thing that connects the story. But most of you will be so caught up in all the other positives of this movie that you will not even notice. The only thing you might feel is that this movie is really heavy. That's a result of the problem I mentioned above. Because there are so many things going on, it's one layer on top of the other. Also, the film is really slow and really long, although it never feels that it is overly long which is good. These are just minor points but just FYI.

Breaking It Down:
Story: 8.0 (Eileen Chang: novel, James Schamus: screen play)
Direction: 8.5 (Lee Ang)
Acting: 9.0
Cinematography: 8.8
Music/Sound: 7.8

Entertainment Value: 8.0

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

This Movie Is About: Alice, returning to the place that made her and kicking some serious zombie ass. No seriously, that's what this film is about. It's been 5 years since Resident Evil: Apocolypse and since that movie wasn't dooming enough, they had to come back 5 years later to finish off the business. The zombies that is. So now Alice, haunted by her past with Umbrella Corporations, joins up with a convoy headed by Claire Redfield (Ali Larter) to get the remaining survivors out of the desert and into the only place on earth that is safe from infection: Alaska.

You Should Watch This Movie Because: the general idea is that if you've seen the first two then you should see this one because it will tie up any loose ends that you had questions about. Since this is called Extinction, there is an expectation that this will be the last film in the franchise. This is also a good guess because they actually came out and told us that. But you shouldn't go see the movie expecting this because you will be very disappointed. Expect gore, cheap thrills, and a very good looking cast.

What's Hot: The weather? That's about it really. The setting is very nice as Las Vegas looks like a a post-apocolyptic world which is what the rest of the world looks like. That's all done very good and it's very satisfying to see Resident Evil get taken to such a big stage. Other than that, the only other thing worth noting is the cast. Even though everyone has been wandering around the planet with nothing left, they all have really good skin and they all look very hot still. Ali Larter leads the way but is followed up very closely with Ashanti and Spencer Locke. I saw this girl, Spencer Locke that is, a while ago when she did the voice for Monster House and I can see big things for her. She'll have to do more than just scream though for her next project or else she'll get type casted.

What's Not Hot: Where do I begin? There are just so many things wrong with this movie that I feel it's my obligation to tell you. But I also know that there will be many of you wanting to watching this film like I wanted to watch this film. Without giving too much away, I'll just say that this movie does not follow any sort of structure or logic. That is, the first 40 minutes of this movie has people wandering around getting owned by zombies. That might sound great. And for a lot of people, that's all they expect from movies now a days. Look at all of those people that liked Transformers, they were blinded by the special effects and their childhood dreams from seeing how bad that movie was. I guess it'll be the same as this film as many will just go because we all love Resident Evil. We all played the game and we want to see our characters come to life and be on the big screen. For some that's enough, but for many others, they will be left wanting.

Breaking It Down:
Story: Fail (Paul W.S. Anderson)
Direction: 8.0 (Russell Mulcahy)
Acting: 6.0
Cinematography: 8.5
Music/Sound: 5.5

Entertainment Value: Fail (not an average)

The Brave One (2007)

This Movie Is About Erica Bain (Jodie Foster) had a loving relationship with her fiancee until one night, they took a wrong turn in a park and got the shit beaten out of them by these three gang bangers. Erica's fiancee died, leaving Erica alone, depressed and struggling to survive. She feared her own shadow and the police, lead by Detective Mercer (Terrence Howard) can do nothing. This, combined with the reality of how shitty New York really is, pushes Erica over the edge. She purchases a gun illegally for protection but soon turns it on the criminals of New York. Of course this isn't right and it's not long before Mercer is on her trail, but in the mean time, Mercer gets to know Erica, the person and they share experiences and in the end, everything comes together in a brilliant mess.

You Should Watch This Movie Because Jodie Foster hasn't been in something this gory since The Silence of the Lambs. The story itself is a bit of a mess but I believe that this was intentional. The film really brings you into the mind of a someone who has lost it all and how they attempt to cling on to what they have only to realize that you'll only ever be a shadow of who you were and dealing with the person you become is much more scary than anything the night has to offer.

What's Hot: Foster isnt' that great in this film, physically since she's supposed to play a character who's a train wreck. But what she lacks in appearance, she makes up for in performance as she does a splendid job in getting into the character and really putting herself out there. Terrence Howard is back and shows that he can play a variety of roles with a conflicted detective. Not the most original part but one that is vital for a well-rounded story. The supporting cast is pretty thin but Detective Vital (NIcky Katt) chimes in with hilarious remarks from time to time to give the audience a breather.

What's Not Hot: The ending is very suspect. There are no complaints of how the story ended because it was awesome with the last sequence, but Erica really didn't deserve that ending. Without ruining it, I will just say that the ending is very much a consequence of Erica and Mercer's relationship. And the status of their relationship in the end, did not warrant what happened. But it's just a minor greviance and can be over-looked.

Breaking It Down:
Story: 7.8 (Roderick Taylor & Bruce A. Taylor)
Direction: 8.0 (Neil Jordan)
Acting: 9.0
Cinematography: 7.5
Music/Sound: 7.0

Entertainment Value: 7.8 (not an average)