Transformers (2007)

Synopsis: On some distance planet live a bunch of huge robots. They have been waging a war so great that their planet was destroyed. The giver of life for that planet, a giant cube called the Allspark was lost in space and just happened to crash land on Earth. Now, the Autobots (good guys) and the Decepticons (bad guys) come to Earth to wage the final battle that will determine the fate of not only their race, but ours!

Should You Watch It? I'm really at a conflict of interests here. To tell you not to watch it, would be doing my duty as a objective reviewer of films, but then you would probably miss out on the biggest film event of the summer. Not because the movie is good, mind you, but because everyone will be talking about how bad it is, that you'll feel left out! But, if I told you to see it, then well, I wouldn't be doing my job now would I? So, really, I guess you should go see it just because it has a bunch of nice CG robots duking it out over a big city. I guess for some people, that's enough. Oh, and watch out for the blatant advertising haha it's pretty great.

Things to Watch Out For: This movie is not an epic. I repeat, this movie is not an epic. It might seem like an epic with the scale of which the movie presents itself. But because the protagonist is one man, and one girl. Okay, so the girl is really hot and the guy is the perfect underdog that we all like to cheer for, doesn't make this movie feel like an epic even with the world is hanging in the balance. Positives, positives... my therapist always told me to focus on the positives. Yes, I needed to see a therapist to quesiton my profession after watching this film. The robots are good. All your favorites are in there but because the Autobots are the good guys, you see them and learn a lot more about them. The Decipticons are only there as the bad guys and you know nothing about them except for Megatron. The transformations are probably the coolest part of this film cause everything else just looks the same.

Things You Don't Expect: The freakin' dialogue. Holy shit. Pardon my language but everything that everone says tries to be philisophical. Everytime a fucking robot opens their lips, yes they have lips, they want to make some broad statement that's supposed to shed some light on humanity and existence. And if you've seen other Michael Bay films, then you would have seen all the camera angles and shots already cause he recycles them for this movie. He even took the soundtrack from Armageddon. Damn you Bay!

Final Comments:
Story: 6.0
Direction: Fail (Michael Bay)
Acting: 6.0 (Megan Fox, you are the saving grace)
Cinematography: 9.4
Music/Sound: 7.0

Final Score: 6.5